Friday, September 14, 2012

Sometimes it's hard not be discouraged as a substitute teacher looking for a full-time English position. It's hard not to be discouraged when you speak with a teacher who subbed for three years and just now got hired as a half-time teacher. And then you look over at the bulletin board in the English department teacher workroom and see five separate postings from English certified subs who are looking for subbing opportunities.

As I sat in that workroom today, looking at those five other subs, essentially my competition, I wondered what course of action I should take. Should I post something on the board myself? If so, what should I write? All the other postings were so bland and similar. Finally, I decided to post a note and here is what it said:
_______________________________________________________________________________

"I learned so much today from Mr. Rowe! Almost as much as I learn form my amazing teacher who is usually here."

"We hate it when you're gone, but having Mr. Rowe as a sub makes it bearable."

"He was the greatest sub ever!"

Do these quotes from students sound made up? Well, that's because they are. All the same, please consider requesting me as an English sub.

Seth Rowe

Certified English/LA 7-12

sethdrowe@gmail.com

_________________________________________________________________________________

So I'm pretty sure I either ruined any chance at subbing at that school again, or I'm about to become the most requested sub in the history of American education. Which do you think it is?

Thursday, September 6, 2012

Parenting 101

Babies are so needy. They are always wanting you to hold them or feed them or change them or love them. Enough already! Babies are such babies! I mean, I brought my son into this world (well, I was there at least), isn't that enough? But noooooo, he actually wants me to be nearby and even play with him on occasion. After nine months in the womb just kicking around you would think he would have learned how to entertain himself. Seriously, when you are amazed and delighted by ceiling fans, floor vents, and mirrors, how do you ever get bored? And yet, he does. He tires of all his toys and becomes insistent that I hold him. Doesn't he realize how busy I am? I mean, my fantasy football team isn't going to update itself. However, his constant need for affection does have an upside: I have become an expert at one-armed/one-handed living. You wouldn't believe the tasks I accomplish with him in one arm. Seriously, you could stick my left arm in a wood chipper this second and it would have little or no impact on my functionality. Don't believe me? Here is a list of things I have mastered using only one arm whilst holding my son in the other:

-Checking facebook

-Eating

-Taking out the garbage

-Washing dishes and unloading the dishwasher

-Sweeping the floor

-Opening baby-safe pill bottles

-Driving

-Harvesting food from the garden

-Making paper cranes

-Cooking dinner

-Making balloon animals

-Mowing the lawn

-Cutting down trees

-Retrieving the mail

-Back handspring

-Google searching for couples who may want to adopt our baby

-Juggling chainsaws

Okay, I will admit, that some of those items are less impressive than others. But it really took me a while to figure out the pill bottle thing.

P.S. In case my grandmother or a concerned citizen reads this: I really do love my baby and he is not actually up for adoption. Most of the dangerous items on the list I only perform on rare occasions to impress strangers.